The holidays are almost over....
today is the day that i have waited about
8 months for but the hype for it now
is not really what i expected.
The great feeling of x'mass is not here
at all.
I feel strange
like im not connected with my surroundings
Perhaps its because i have been slipping in my faith
i should give more of my life back to god


Started a project>
wrote a song...
green said it was ok
so i guess it may have a chance of becoming stronger
now i just have to get the band together
CONSTANT practice is what we all need


GOT A X FRAME GUITAR FOR X MASS

Didnt go to work today.
Horribly sick.
Think i've got the runs.
Must have been something i ate i think.
Was sick yesterday too.
Tonight gotta attend my mum's company dinner.
Gotta come back home and wrap presents too.


ok on with my topic.
Caught OPERA today.
Today's feature on her show was PRISONERS
and how the life in prisons is like.



A prisoner said to the interviewer
"inside here there are no fishes. They all be sharks."

another told her " inside here you cant show fear,
you do that and you'll end up somebody's bitch."

another said " we just dont fit with the outside no more,
in here we be treated like animals , so when we go out,
we be animals."

this is in America.

But in singapore its no different.

Once a thug always a thug.
or so the government and society says.

i have a friend who was recently sacked due
to his prison record.
FROM SK JEWELRY.
So much for the fucking yellow ribbon project eh.
giving us convicts a second chance at life?
fuck no.
What good is the yellow ribbon?
NOTHING at all.
All this talk about giving us a second chance at life
bullshit.


say that we have to prove ourselves first?
How can we when whatever we do
society pushes us back to where we started....

Sometimes we dont want to lead the dark life we lead
but often its not our choice to make....

I noticed that something bad has to happen
before i start to really appreciate the things
and people that are around me
is that a character defect?
I'm not so sure
and now i suffer the side effects of a break up
the sleepless nights
the constant refusal of food
the excessive puffs
and extreme urge to either gulp down beer
or smash something with my fists.
By now my hands are beaten sore
blue in some places black in others.
But thats nothing compared to my heart.
feels like i've been hit by a locomotive.
Cut me and i bleed.
the scars will heal in time.
Cut my heart and i cry.
the heart never heals thus it never scars.
it just dies...