Life is so bloody complicated
the most obvious things are usually so hard to do
why?
parting might be the answer and yet it dosent seem to be so
do one and regret
do another and still its wrong
both wrong and right
making things better is really a naive thing to say dont you think?
there is no sharing of the blame
there is no such thing
there is nothing we can do except accept and live on
who we are is just that
who we are
there are things that we can change and things that are just in-built
i dont know what things are this way
they just are
i mean its not that i am a complicated person
far from that
i am the most fucking simple person in the whole fucking lasalle
as DALLIAH once said..... im just too fucking literal
dont you think so?
loyalty is important
honor:?
voicing out
am i prideful?
over confident?
love fights (fist)
i love to enjoy the good fucking life
clubs ktv night time outings ect...
am i that much different?
am i wrong to have a taste a lusting for the things that i had missed during those years?
am i evil
i dont know
.............
as i once wrote
heaven wont accept me coz im bad
hell wont take me coz the devil's afraid of me taking over
so watch out afterworld coz here the fuck i come
a sword in one hand fire in the other






heard a story today......
all i can say is jurong allan watch out u pussy
come east side and ill kill ya......

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR



you see i was just doing my thing lately
and this idea hit me




na.....
acutally
i have not idea what i am doing










BOOOOOOO

































scared ya didnt i

Chains
chains
chains
tying me up
chains
chains
chains
are they enough
they are so much fimiliar
they so much more than freedom
but that does not mean that they are right
they does not mean it is meant to be
chains
chains
chains
binding me
tainting me
changing me

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SLEEPLESS IN SINGAPORE

cant get to sleep though i am sick
cant get to sleep because of some comments got me thinking
i AM a bad guy perhaps



Empty within the knocks upon his heat echos into eternity
the beats heard arnt his heat's work
but the echos of distance
she longs for the silence to end
yet she pulls away
shuns what seems right
choosing only to see illusions
chasing smoke only to be mis-lead

SICK IS AS SICK DOES

Went to Fi's today got some stuff done there
and at the beach....
headed back to rul's place to get our stuff and take some pics of the
3d project
my day is burned
thought i could do some work tonight
but im fucked sick
nose blocked
eyes red and tearing
perhaps im missing my home....
my true home....
lol
BULLSHIT
im sick till im talking crap....
Bed-time.....
life sucks when you are sick....
FARK

GOTHIC


reach to me and i will set you free
he says as his tears begin to fall
how can you say that from high upon that cross
his legs weary
his arms sore still
bleeding from the nail wounds on his hands and feet
the stigma of bearing truth into the world

mocking him a serpent on the ground
slithers its way towards him
on its belly
anger it feels
as it draws closer to
curse me i shall taint you as i have tainted your kin
the serpent thinks

the man is silent
he remains that way
given his life for the world
yet it slays him
like a dog in the streets
laid to bare
for millions to see
what did he die for
why
.....

THE SADNESS

People change as i have said before
in this case a close friend
he was the best thing that ever happened to me in KBC
though he was not from my group
he showed me the ropes to kbc life
he thought me the rules the dos and do-nots
where and how to avoid detection while doing exercises in the bunk room
he even thought me accounts lessons !!!!!
under his tutorlage i scored A in most of my tests!
but now......
now
that person is gone.........
caught in the web that gangsters spin for themselves
unable to move further from where he now stands.............
future is ruined just for that....
my poor poor friend
what will become of you now
my heartaches at your loss of yourself
i cant believe that this could happen to you
you who thought me the value of christ in oneself
you who was the joker of the bunk
one who seemed to treasure life more than anyone else that i have ever known

i go now to meet you
on this day....
your birthday or perhaps its an earlier celebration of it.......
sad to say....
my heartaches friend.....
my heartaches...

THE ONE WHERE IM SUPER PISSED OFF



i dont know what you want with me already

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ya perhaps i'm not a good boyfriend
but you know this by now.....

i cant read your mind

i cant do all the things that HE does

"i'm very disappointed in you" you said in an sms

i'm doing my work and your giving me all this negative comments
i told you im leaving around 7
and yet u still expect me to meet you?
you know that if i have the time i will meet you
what do you need me to do?
spell it out to you.....
do you think i can do that?
do you really?

i need to tell you
this choice that i made i stick to it no matter what
but how come it seems like you just cant forget what happened?

IF I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU THEN I DO

is there anything else you want?
perhaps for me to quit school for u
perhaps to just fuck everything else for you?

in the past maybe i could do that

BUT NOW I KNOW WHAT I WANT
AND I WANT TO DO IT

YOU know how much school means to me
these few days are gonna be very hard on us
i know that and you know that
i warned you already

PLEASE SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME....
how am supposed to get work done when im in such a mood?

THE ONE WHEN WE JUST CAME BACK FROM WORK

Cher's studio was THE BOMB!!!!

Got tons of work done....
tons more tooo....

it was so great that we decided on going back tomorrow
going back to more work...
its so motivational there
i finished like 3 drawings in the first day
3 more mini stuff in my sketch book
planned the external projects and internal ones too
got my clay done....

wow

it was so beautiful there....
the evening and morning jogs there was really......
theres just no words to describe it....
i'll take a picture or two the next time round,,,,,

Just kidding about the money thing not the 2 gals thing..........








Just to list my buddies!!!!!

CHER
PO
NA
WRUL
DYA

And my Bros

RUDZZZZ
ALAN
FI
FUWEN


and many many more...............



You've been such a great joy to be around

Esp. since i came out of prison....
i needed a hand to hold
you guys gave me both hands and both feet.....
some did strangle me..... (only one la....im talking about u NA)
you pushed me to my limit (work limit la...Wrul)
some gave me a listening ear...(NA PO CHEr WRUL RUDZ)
some irritated me ... (FI only u)
some kept me company drinking and smoking (FUwen and RUDz)
some allowed me to irritate them (Dya and all the rest.... )


Huiting u are also included la
still have not forgotten ya!!!!! lol
pllz stop with the depressing msn nicks.........

MISTAKEN JUDGEMENT

Theres something that i have to say

actually...... i dont know how to put it

its gotta do with some mis-conceptions that my blog might bring up

YES i am still attached to my girlfriend
Yes we did for some reason break up
but now we're back together

theres has been a mighty misunderstanding between me and her
and to be serious i think i know where the misunderstanding comes from
im quite good friends with many gals in the class
as many of you might know by now...
being half "gay" and all

but really la....
sorry for all the stupid misunderstandings
especially to ya... you know who you are.........

and to my gf.... eh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im with u lo....
i dont do the 2 girls at one time thing.....
(not enough cash for that!).......
(pssssssstttttttttttt just kidding la!)

Theres something that keeps eating me up inside

a horrible feeling everytime i see something happen

is it me or do i feel cold

cold shoulder

cold stares

cold everything



I'M SORRY

yeah like that helps
it dosent ...does it?